Life: Speed vs Direction

Glasgow, 11th September 2017

A few months ago, Korean drama fans were surprised by Songsong couple’s marriage announcement. The actor (Song Joong-ki) wrote a letter to his fans regarding his feeling about the marriage which I found interesting. In the letter, he stated that he wants to have a slow life. He believes that life isn’t about speed but rather about direction. Emphasizing, that he doesn’t want to be someone that moves fast but forget with his surroundings. Somehow, his statement is related with what I have been discussed lately with my friends.

Living in the high-tech era where we can obtain most of the things instantly and faster e.g. information. In some way, made us become impatience and want to get something faster (e.g. money, fame, power etc). Media social somehow shaping people that in order to be happy you should have a successful career in early age. In addition, bragging about achievement in social media also tend to trigger people to compare themselves with others. Thus, those who think they are not successful enough (Where in fact they are already good!) feel miserable and in the end taking for granted that for what they already have.

Someone ever said that life is like driving a car. It is easy to reach your destination soon through highway. However, if you take detour it might take you more time and harder. Because there will be uphills and downhills. But, along with the journey, you can see the good scenery you haven’t noticed if you take a highway. Those scenery and hard road are beautiful and meaningful. Therefore, once you arrived at your destination you will feel content.

Similarly, in the reality, if we are impatience and have a desire to achieve something instantly, we might not enjoy the living process (e.g. quality time with family, lovers, and friends). Thus, once we achieved the goals, it will be meaningless. Instead of having a speedy life, it much better to have a life with direction. It is okay to slow down, as long as you know where you heading to. You can enjoy the process of life such as overcome the hurdles and making memories with your surroundings. Therefore, once you achieve your goal, you will be filled with stories and experience.

What Defines Maturity?

Glasgow, 23 May 2017

11.24 pm

What defines maturity? Are we getting more mature as we get older? Are there any characteristics for a person’s maturity? And why is it so important to be mature?  These questions keep lingering on my mind and have become a current discussion topic among my friends. Living abroad for almost 9 months and interacting with many people with different cultural backgrounds and personalities, a lot of friction surely has occurred. However, if people behave in a mature way, problems can be solved easily and chaos can be prevented. Based on a writer’s subjective perception there are some particular signs that define whether someone is emotionally mature or not. People that are mature tend to:

1. Not exaggerate when facing problems

Is there any adult who does not have problems in this world?  It is a part of life if people encounter friction since every person has different traits. The difference lies in how people face their problems. Mature people tend to take problems less personally and more objectively. Moreover, their reactions are less dramatic compared to immature people.

For instance, a few weeks ago my flatmate just realized her bike got stolen 2 hours before her exam started.  I was so worried about her and so afraid that it would affect her exam. It turned out that she was not panicking at all and she even tried to calm me. Moreover, during that circumstance, she still cared and told my other flatmate to put her bike in the house. I am so impressed with how she dealt with her problem. Instead of exaggerating her problem she remained calm and found a solution.

 2. Be kind instead of just being right

In my 25 years of life finally, I understand how important it is to be kind over being right. Truthfully, I am an outspoken person and due to it, sometimes I unintendedly hurt people with my words. One of my friends made me realize my mistake. She said that the way you deliver the message is much more important than the message itself. In order to deliver a message correctly, you should deliver it kindly, so that the recipient can accept it well.

Sometimes, if we want to deliver a message, it can turn out to cause negative impacts because it was delivered in harsh words or maybe too straight forward. Creating a conflict and consuming much time in endless debates that will hurt each other emotionally. Furthermore, the concept of personal approach may also be useful. It is better to deliver criticisms personally (face to face) in a kind manner instead of posting it in a forum. Even though our intention is to improve something or someone’s job, delivering our message in a forum can be a form of humiliation and no one likes to be humiliated.

Trial and Life Comparison

Image adapted from tombasson.wordpress.com

The sun was shining brightly that day. The wind blows sweetly. It was nice day and I was full of energy to finish my work assignment. However, suddenly a guy with watery eyes appeared in front of me.

He was my colleague, Farhan.  His desk was in front of mine.  I wondered why his face looked so sad and painful. I remember his mother just came to visit him yesterday. My mind was wandering (is his parent sick? Is there something terrible happen with his family?)

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So, I asked him. “Farhan, what’s happened? Why you looked so sad?”

“Nothing,  I am fine” He answered with a bitter smile.

“Actually, I feel like I am a total failure!  I am so stupid. I never achieved what I want, ” he said.

“What do you mean?”  I asked.

“In Junior High School, I have a close friend. We were top students and we promised that we are going to work abroad. Yesterday, I met him in mall. He just graduated from US and GOT A JOB IN SINGAPORE !!!

“Whereas, I am still in Indonesia and I feel like I am left behind. I am such a worthless man. Even though, I have worked hard” he said

I was so shocked, after hearing his answers. My heart was screaming! (You are already great!)

Since we’re both working in pharmaceutical company, I gave him a little insight.

Homework

When you were child, when and where did you finish your homework?  There is a GENERAL RULE among the pupils that homework should be done early in the morning at school. Fortunately, I’m the one who break that RULE. I was “forced” to do it at home, yeah at home thanks to my mom.  Every night my mom always checked whether I have finished my homework or not.

There will be 3 rules apply from my mom :

If I have not finished it, my mom would say, “Let’s do it together.”

If I said that I have finished it, my mom would say, “Let’s check it together.”

And if I have no homework, my mom would say,” Let’s study the upcoming chapter.”

And I found those were really annoying.

My mom is just a high school graduate from SMA 9 Bulungan, Jakarta (one of favorite high school at that time and she always brags how great her high school is!). Unfortunately, She couldn’t continue her study due to financial problem and as the eldest child she had to work to help her younger brothers. However, she is a strong believer that education can change someone’s life and I was raised by that belief. I am going to share the proof how education has changed my life surely.

The beginning of The unspoken thoughts

Sat, 27 April 12:13 am

Hola Amigos,

Starting today, I am no longer use my blog in blogspot and  wordpress is my new home. However, my blogspot website is still exist so you could see my older postings there. A lot of captivating postings are coming and  I hope you enjoy my journal of unspoken thoughts!

Cheers!